2 more weeks until I am officially a teacher!

I have worked my butt off in the past 12 weeks, gave my heart and soul into this final prac and it’s finally paying off! I was told of what grade I’m getting and I’m quite pleased with their decision (although, a 10/10 would be even better). I’ve been feeling so tired lately and I feel that I might be coming down with something (cross fingers I don’t). I just can’t wait for this to be over because then I don’t have to wake up every morning at 5am and arrive home at 5pm. IT’S ALL VERY EXCITING! I AM BECOMING AN ADULT VERY SOON!
Ps: here’s a visual representation of what I do when I get home. 

image

Have you ever been so exhausted that all you want to do is cry? Sleeping does not make it go away either. 7 more weeks of my final pract and then I’ll be a teacher (if I pass, that is!). Sorry for the lack of post. I don’t even have time to reply to text messages - let alone blog. Sending everyone lots of love and positivity! And also, have a good weekend X

Be a big girl and not cry, Oshiel.

Second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second second

One of these days, I’ll be first at something. I hate being second at everything.

Sorry for the lack of posts these past few days. There are things going on at the moment, but I’ll be back again posting normally on Wednesday.

A sweet moment suddenly turned into sour in one split second. Sometimes it’s rough being in my shoes, but everyone can say the same with their life.

I won’t be posting as much in the next 2 weeks as I will be away. I’ve queued plenty of good stuff while I’m gone, so enjoy! I’ll be back to normal posting when I’m back. Have a good holidays everyone xxx

How do you keep your chin up when you’re helplessly stuck facedown in the gutter?

Do you ever wonder why it never worked out back then? And why it could actually work out now, even though you’re physically still the same person? It’s because back then you were just a child with too much love inside of you, and you ended up throwing love around to the wrong people while expecting them to respond to you the way you had imagined. You had it all planned. You thought you had it all figured out. You spent so much time being miserable because miserable is the only thing you were good at. Also, because being miserable was better than feeling empty and nothing. 

But lucky for you, you see clearer now. 

:(

:’(

Train-wreck Sundays. Like a ritual.

What am I going to do with my life :’(

People love bailing on me.

Hate it when I get bailed on.

Ruins my whole day. And it’s only 10am.

There’s no gray area. No such thing. You’re either in the black area or the white. You can’t be in the middle. It doesn’t exist, I tried to look for it for a while. If you think you’re in the gray area, then you’re denying yourself, because I did the same for so long.

Take me where the light is.

Too often I worry about how old I’m growing and how little I’ve done in my life. Little did I realise that everyone else around me is also growing old. The expensive products people use every day does not change the fact that we grow one year older each year. Just a bit closer to being old and grey. 

My mother hits 50 today and it makes me so sad. It’s because I can’t be with her to celebrate her birthday, but mostly because I haven’t been there with/for her, for most of my life. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much and I can’t get that back because time doesn’t do returns. I’m glad she’s healthy and (I hope) happy… but it doesn’t stop me from feeling like kicking myself in the gut for being here instead of where she is. 

Here comes the scariest part of my life. I’ve always dreaded this part. I can handle almost anything the world throws at me… but this… growing old and watching my loved ones grow old… I find it most difficult. 

Happy birthday, mum. Although you don’t know how to turn on a computer - let alone access the internet, I’d like to publicly say thank you for teaching me many life lessons that I will definitely pass on to my own children one day. You taught me to always be humble and to always have faith in everything I do. You taught me to be a strong woman and to be forgiving. You taught me to always find joy in what I do and to share happiness around with people, even if they don’t deserve it. You taught me to be independent and to always help others. I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. 

On a side note, I do wish you’d Skype me without making “MasterChef” as an excuse to reschedule. Other than that - you’re perfect to me :)

Forever and always

XXX